50 Annual Questions to Ask Your Spouse
Dee and his wife Sarah have made a practice of asking each other a series of questions annually. The original list consisted of 13 questions, and has now grown to 50! Dee shared his "50 Annual Questions to Ask Your Spouse" on his blog, and I am posting them here as well.
1. Name one thing I do that makes you feel loved.
2. What could I do to cause you to feel more loved?
3. Name one thing I do that causes you to feel respected/honored.
4. What could I do to cause you to feel more respected/honored?
5. Name one thing I do that causes you to feel understood.
6. What could I do to cause you to feel more understood?
7. Name one thing I do that causes you to feel secure.
8. What could I do to cause you to feel more secure?
9. Name one thing I do that causes you to feel confident in our future direction.
10. What could I do to cause you to feel more confident in our future direction?
11. Name one way I serve you that brings you great joy.
12. Are there specific ways that I can serve that I am not already doing?
13. What attribute would you most like me to develop?
14. Name one attribute (or mannerism or idiosyncrasy) that you most like me to
change?
15. What attribute would you like me to help you develop in yourself?
16. What achievement in my life would bring you the greatest joy?
17. What mutual goal would you like us to accomplish?
18. How is our sex life?
19. Is there anything I can do to make our sex life better?
20. How are we doing with our family budgeting and finances?
21. What is one thing we can do to improve our budgeting and finances?
22. How does it feel when I…(Name something that you know displeases or discourages
your spouse.)
23. What goes through your mind when I…(Name something that you know displeases or
discourages your spouse. This can be the same as question 17 or something
different.)
24. What specifically would you like to see me do to change…(Name something that you
know displeases or discourages your spouse.)
25. How does it feel when I…(Name something that you know pleases or encourages your
spouse.)
26. What goes through your mind when I…(Name something that you know pleases or
encourages your spouse.)
27. Name one personal goal for your life that I can help you achieve this year.
28. Name something new we might do together that would bring joy to our
marriage/family? (Hopefully this is different from question 17).
29. How are our relationships with our extended family (parents, siblings, etc.)?
30. Name one thing I can do to improve one of these family relationships.
31. Name one way that God has blessed our marriage.
32. Name one way that we could make our marriage more Christ-like.
33. Name one sin that you continue to struggle with.
34. What could I do to help you with this struggle?
35. Name one sin you see that I continue to struggle with.
36. What would you encourage me to do to deal with struggle?
37. Is there some way that you can help me with this struggle?
38. What would indicate to you that I really desire to be more Christ-like?
39. How has your love for God grown?
40. How is your devotional time going? (Specifically Scripture study & prayer)
41. Is there another spiritual discipline that you would like to develop? (fasting,
scripture memorization, etc.)
42. What can I do to help your love for God grow?
43. Name one thing about our church that brings you great joy.
44. Name one thing that would increase your joy in church?
45. In ten years where do you hope to be spiritually?
46. In ten years where do you think I should be spiritually?
47. Name one way that my leadership/submission has strengthened our marriage.
48. What could I do to lead/submit better in our marriage?
49. On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate our marriage?
50. What would make our marriage a ten?
1. Name one thing I do that makes you feel loved.
2. What could I do to cause you to feel more loved?
3. Name one thing I do that causes you to feel respected/honored.
4. What could I do to cause you to feel more respected/honored?
5. Name one thing I do that causes you to feel understood.
6. What could I do to cause you to feel more understood?
7. Name one thing I do that causes you to feel secure.
8. What could I do to cause you to feel more secure?
9. Name one thing I do that causes you to feel confident in our future direction.
10. What could I do to cause you to feel more confident in our future direction?
11. Name one way I serve you that brings you great joy.
12. Are there specific ways that I can serve that I am not already doing?
13. What attribute would you most like me to develop?
14. Name one attribute (or mannerism or idiosyncrasy) that you most like me to
change?
15. What attribute would you like me to help you develop in yourself?
16. What achievement in my life would bring you the greatest joy?
17. What mutual goal would you like us to accomplish?
18. How is our sex life?
19. Is there anything I can do to make our sex life better?
20. How are we doing with our family budgeting and finances?
21. What is one thing we can do to improve our budgeting and finances?
22. How does it feel when I…(Name something that you know displeases or discourages
your spouse.)
23. What goes through your mind when I…(Name something that you know displeases or
discourages your spouse. This can be the same as question 17 or something
different.)
24. What specifically would you like to see me do to change…(Name something that you
know displeases or discourages your spouse.)
25. How does it feel when I…(Name something that you know pleases or encourages your
spouse.)
26. What goes through your mind when I…(Name something that you know pleases or
encourages your spouse.)
27. Name one personal goal for your life that I can help you achieve this year.
28. Name something new we might do together that would bring joy to our
marriage/family? (Hopefully this is different from question 17).
29. How are our relationships with our extended family (parents, siblings, etc.)?
30. Name one thing I can do to improve one of these family relationships.
31. Name one way that God has blessed our marriage.
32. Name one way that we could make our marriage more Christ-like.
33. Name one sin that you continue to struggle with.
34. What could I do to help you with this struggle?
35. Name one sin you see that I continue to struggle with.
36. What would you encourage me to do to deal with struggle?
37. Is there some way that you can help me with this struggle?
38. What would indicate to you that I really desire to be more Christ-like?
39. How has your love for God grown?
40. How is your devotional time going? (Specifically Scripture study & prayer)
41. Is there another spiritual discipline that you would like to develop? (fasting,
scripture memorization, etc.)
42. What can I do to help your love for God grow?
43. Name one thing about our church that brings you great joy.
44. Name one thing that would increase your joy in church?
45. In ten years where do you hope to be spiritually?
46. In ten years where do you think I should be spiritually?
47. Name one way that my leadership/submission has strengthened our marriage.
48. What could I do to lead/submit better in our marriage?
49. On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate our marriage?
50. What would make our marriage a ten?
posted by Alex & Laura Beth @ 4:18 PM
6 Comments:
At 9:25 AM,
Hilary Noltemeyer said…
Great questions. Did you post them because our anniversary is today and you think we have some things to discuss?
At 9:50 AM,
Alex & Laura Beth said…
Yes, I've always found that the subtle hint works best. Just kidding!
I am super excited about you and Kyle celebrating 9 years of marriage! You have both been such an encouragement for Alex and I as we have begun our marriage. In fact you guys are the reason we even know each other!
At 12:39 PM,
Anonymous said…
well i don't have a spouse at this juncture so I have no comment for this post. but i will say hooray for subaru! i've wanted this car for about 6 years. its so fantastic! p.s. maybe i'll see you around the ACCS circuit, Laura; i just got a part time job teaching 5th and 6th grade latin at westminster in memphis. its been kinda last minute, though i think it will be fun. wierd but fun. (maybe i already told you that; if so, pretend like i didn't)
At 10:54 AM,
Bobby said…
Great idea!
At 2:53 PM,
California Niemoths said…
I am working on a date night kit for my husband and have been scouring the Web for ideas. Part of the kit is questions to ask your spouse. Thank you very much for these wonderful questions that are so obviously based on love and promote unity and growth.
At 6:12 AM,
Anonymous said…
I thought this was a great idea. My wife and I have now been married for 2 years and we are starting this as our new tradition. How do you go about discussing the questions you had to fill in the blank like 15 for example?
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